vagina is talking i cant
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
