I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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