11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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