I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize