It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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