Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
