Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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