Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
