Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
