And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
