Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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