i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
