i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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