Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize