On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
