Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
