You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
