i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
