So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
