There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
