it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
