the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
