Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
