I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
