There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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