i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A bitchslap is in order.
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