i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
