Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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