Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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