i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
