and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
