i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
