did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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