East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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