It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
