Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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