I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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