Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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