Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
