My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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