So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
