His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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