drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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