I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize