Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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