That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
