did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
