I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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