He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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