You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
